Feature: A Word from the Mayor

Hello,
This is your Mayor, Jackie F. Gustafson. First off, Happy New Year! Secondively, there are lots of new governmental things going into affect as of now. Or is it "effect?" Help me out here. That's one of those things my spellcheck doesn't catch. Blah, blah, blah. Back to the newsletter. Oh, by the way, this is the first monthly newsletter! I'm trying to come up with a name for it. What do you think of The Sunlit Falls Splash Page? No? Yes? Well, I like it. That's what I'm gonna call it.
So, here are some changes to public policy that may or may not aeffect you:
1. Recycling day is now Tuesday. Also, we no longer recycle diapers. Apparently, it's just not worth it.
2. The speed limit is back up to 55 mph. Every street is 55. This is sort of an experiment.
3. Cigarette tax is doubled. No tripled!
4. From now on, call me J-to-the-G.
5. Christmas is doubled. We'll figure out what that means when the time comes.
6. Oh, there's lots more. I am just getting bored and I want to stop.

So, in closing, I'm your mayor! See you later.
J-to-the-G.