Feature: The Reverend Uncle Alan Show

Good day to you!
It's me! Reverend Uncle Alan of the Reverend Uncle Alan Show! If you've never heard of me, it may be because my show hasn't aired just yet. Will it air in the future? Let's hope--I mean pray.

I suppose I should tell you about myself, my church, and my show before we get too deep into this thing. I am a ordained Reverend--have been for years now. Then, one day, I said to hell with it. I started my own church. It's called The Jesus Church of Miraculous Discovery. It's based on Christianity, but it's way more extreme to the max! It is all about the idea that Jesus did so many miracles, that we are still finding out about--or discovering them even today.

For example, it's a prooven fact that Jesus walked on water, but did you further know that He also swam in solid ice? I discovered that one while doing some backyard Winter clean-up. I noticed the once fluid-filled kiddie pool was now a frozen chunk of ice and it struck me that Jesus must've been better than all that, so I jotted 'er down in the ol' notebook. There's tons more of 'em, too!

On to my show. It's called The Reverend Uncle Alan Show. It's like your average religious show, only way better. It is scheduled to be on "sometime soon" they tell me. I wish I had more info, but I don't. Please just keep checking your TV.

Amen, be good, and see you soon!
-RUA