Feature: The Reverend Uncle Alan Show

Good day to you!
It's me! Reverend Uncle Alan of the Reverend Uncle Alan Show! If you've never heard of me, it may be because my show hasn't aired just yet. Will it air in the future? Let's hope--I mean pray.

I suppose I should tell you about myself, my church, and my show before we get too deep into this thing. I am a ordained Reverend--have been for years now. Then, one day, I said to hell with it. I started my own church. It's called The Jesus Church of Miraculous Discovery. It's based on Christianity, but it's way more extreme to the max! It is all about the idea that Jesus did so many miracles, that we are still finding out about--or discovering them even today.

For example, it's a prooven fact that Jesus walked on water, but did you further know that He also swam in solid ice? I discovered that one while doing some backyard Winter clean-up. I noticed the once fluid-filled kiddie pool was now a frozen chunk of ice and it struck me that Jesus must've been better than all that, so I jotted 'er down in the ol' notebook. There's tons more of 'em, too!

On to my show. It's called The Reverend Uncle Alan Show. It's like your average religious show, only way better. It is scheduled to be on "sometime soon" they tell me. I wish I had more info, but I don't. Please just keep checking your TV.

Amen, be good, and see you soon!
-RUA

News: Another World Record Attempt

Hello,
It's me, the Mayor. Show your love. I'm thrillder than a peacock on Christmas this morning. Why? Because we did it! Did what? We got in the record books--hopefully.

My boyfriend, Trent (pictured, on right) and his bro, Donald, made a play for the Guiness Book last night for making the World's Largest Silly Putty Transfer. Using a couple hundred eggs of Silly Putty and a huge blown-up Glamour Shot of your's truly, these guys put our quiet little town on the map once and for all!

As you can see, a pretty good crowd was on hand to witness history for themselves. The transer was a glorious sight to behold, if I do say so myself. Now it's just up to the Guiness folks to give us the high sign and Sunlit Falls' acheivement will be in black and white right up there next to the weirdo who spins all the basketballs and those fat twins on motorcycles.

Keep your fingers crossed.

-Jackie